Well, I’m officially one year older as of this past Monday. Older, and wiser. Another chapter in my lifelong book has ended. Although it’s starting to feel like I’m turning into my mom sometimes, the 31st year of my life was one I will always remember, especially because we shared it with Itty Bitty. Cue Bilbo Baggins writing “There and Back Again” at his cute little Hobbit desk. Sans the pipe of course. Aww…….
I spent a lot of Monday reflecting on the previous year. Was it what I wanted it to be? Did I drink enough Del’s lemonade? Did I make enough memories? Did I realy have to obsess over Miley Cyrus’ twerking as much as I did? How much time did I spend watching those Facebook life-in-review videos? Did I get enough Breaking Bad? Most importantly, did I tell the people I love that I loved them enough?
While some of these are legit questions, and some just may be the musings of a sleep deprived (i.e. tortured) Tall Mom of a 1 year old, I do wonder about my 31st year a lot.
So this begs the question, what would I like to do differently for my 32nd year?
Overall, I can confidently say that last year was a great one. I was pushed to limits I couldn’t even fathom, both physically and emotionally, and have lived to tell the tale.
I love that we started some new traditions in our tiny family. I loved the love Tall Dad gave me. I even loved the arguments we got in. Yes, they happen and they suck. But, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a night with Jacoby Ellsbury but that’s a completely different blog post….
Seriously though, I am so thankful that Tall Dad and I found our flow as new parents, and that our family and friends have been so gracious and loving to Itty Bitty. I think about it, and, god, he really has no idea about the level of love he receives from his surroundings. Most. Spoiled. Baby. Ever.
Get this – after a twoyear hiatus, I picked my saxophone back up, and have been performing again on a regular basis. Tall Dad has the Red Sox, and I have my Gold Sax. It’s a perfect combination.
Tall Dad and I created ParentCast, our podcast dedicated to new parents, new babies, and their new lives together. It’s been featured in the iTunes New and Noteworthy section, and has garnered loads of praise.
People from all over the country are listening to us jamoches as if we actually know what we’re talking about! Little do they know that we’re praying everyday that we don’t do something so stupid that we doom Itty Bitty to alifetime of intense therapy. But, maybe Shakespeare had it right – ignorance is bliss. And, heck, if it’s bliss, stick me in room with no windows, tv’s or a way out because I like the ratings! Suffice it to say, our new ParentCast adventure brings tons of joy to our household, and I’m so excited to continue podcasting!
As for things that I’m going to do differently, I’ve decided to start taking more photos and videos again. I was documenting so much more of Itty Bitty’s life when I was doing the photo challenges, but it was sometimes a little difficult to find the right photo for the theme. Maybe I’ll start doing some more Wordless Wednesday posts, to highlight a great picture of the week – and to also remind me to take great photos. If my 32nd year is anything like my 31st, it’s going to fly by faster than Jonathan Taylor Thomas’ acting career– and I want to make sure I have photos.
I’ve also found that I need to take better care of myself. I focused so heavily on my new child during his first year, that I didn’t care for myself the way I should have, or would have liked to. Oddly enough, I want to feel sexy again. Of course, Tall Dad loves me for who I am, and he tells me that every day. But, I’ve had enough baby puke, baby food, baby poop and/or pee, and general baby gunk thrown on me that the self confidence scale takes a serious hit. Not only that, but it also took a long time for me to realize that I’m not Superwoman, and I can’t juggle everything with ease all the time.
Never mind Superwoman, jeez, I’m not even Laverne or Shirley!
All I can do is the best I can do. I’m going to stop comparing myself to other women and/or moms and my life will be about prioritizing what is best for my family. It’s going to be hard for me to start saying “no,” to events or requests, but I now realize that I need to find more moderation.
I’m also going to work on living in the present. Last year flew by way too quickly, and I don’t want to constantly be thinking about the what if’s and the whens. (is “whens” even a phrase? I don’t care. Whatevs.) I don’t know when we will move into our dream home, nor, when, or if, we will ever want to have another child. Rhys, and all the drama surrounding him (including his behavior, but not limited to just his behavior) has been a lot to deal with. A lot more than I originally anticipated. Rather than worrying about my alarm-clock uterus, or the pressure to keep up with the Jones’, or anything family related, I’m going to sit, focus, and be thankful for what I have each day.
I had a great year. My family is healthy, loving, warm, and full of laughter. It was a blessed year, and I am so excited to see what my 32ndyear brings!