Author’s note: This is the tenth (and last) post of a ten-part series recapping and examining the birth story of my Itty Bitty. Birth is a beautiful experience, but some can find the contents of the topic a bit squeemish. In light of this, please note that these posts are neither too graphic, nor are they full of unicorns and rainbows. They’re just the unfettered, unadulterated truth. And the truth is that birth is the most amazing experience of which I have been a part. By far. So, read on – learn, cry, laugh, but most of all, enjoy.
My Itty Bitty is an Aries, and even though he is still just a tiny baby, I can already tell that he is true to his zodiac sign.
Independence is key to Aries astrology, they do not like to take orders from others and enjoy getting their way.
It didn’t matter what my plan was. Itty Bitty wanted to be born on April 5th, and there was no way my having an epidural would stop him.
After realizing that his head was already making it’s way out, my doctor and nurses turned off my epidural. I was having contractions, but could feel nothing. The nurses helped put me into different positions, trying to get me to feel what was going on in my body. After about an hour, I finally felt the rush of my contractions….but I felt it only in my hips.
I won the jackpot that night, and felt all three.
Admist this crazy sharp pain in my right hip, my doctor and nurses were trying to guide me on how to push Itty Bitty out. I was clueless. I’d never birthed a baby before, so all of these sensations were new. Then, my doctor whipped out the big guns. She brought in a mirror, and asked me to see what was going on.
This was not part of my plan. I did not want to see my baby arrive, nor did I want to see my lady parts during birth. I blame the sex-ed videos they made me watch in seventh grade – gross, nasty, no thank you.
I was afraid I would get sick, or that I would see my blood and faint. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do.
But instead, the mirror and the sight of my son’s head gave me courage.
I focused and put all of my energy into pushing, watching Itty Bity move little-by-little. The nurses, doctor, and my doula kept cheering me on, telling me to keep pushing. My hubby, already in tears, offered me water after each big push.
Finally, after two and a half hours of pushing, Itty Bitty’s head fully emerged. However, the cord was wrapped around his neck. Normally this wouldn’t have been a problem, but then my doctor realized the cord was also wrapped around his belly. He was stuck and wouldn’t be able to come out.
We hadn’t planned for this either. We had envisioned doing delayed cord clamping, and having my hubby cut the cord himself. This was going to be Tall Dad’s big moment. But Itty Bitty wanted out. NOW. And no plan was going to stop him.
Our doctor made the executive decision to quickly cut the cord, while much of our tiny baby’s body was still inside of me. At 10:30pm that night, the rest of his body quickly came out, and he immediately was placed on my chest.
Hubby started crying, Itty Bitty started crying, and I started smiling. I kept saying “Hi, hi, hi!” delighted to finally meet this little guy who was my resident for the past 38 weeks.
The next few hours, days, and weeks were a blur. I do remember that Itty Bitty nursed right away. I remember the afterbirth, and how kind my doctor and nurses were to me during that time. I remember holding my tiny baby for at least an hour before he was weighed. I remember his first bath, and that I didn’t sleep at all that first night, because I couldn’t stop staring at him.
I remember thinking how things didn’t go according to our plan. He was two weeks early. I felt the pain of the contractions/back labor/hip labor, even though I had hoped for a pain free birth. Itty Bitty was backwards, and didn’t want to turn around. I never used the beautiful labor tub, nor did I look at the calming pictures I had printed and hoped to place around our birthing room. Birthing balls, yoga positions, breathing techniques, and listening to Debussy never happened.
I remember having the revelation that the REAL PLAN was to give birth to my Itty Bitty, and that babies have their own plans.
I will always remember he, and our journey together, were perfect.
This is the last post in a ten-part series recapping and examining the birth story of my Itty Bitty. Thanks for reading 🙂