I’ve finally done it.

I’ve had my come to Jesus moment. 

My diet sucks. 

I feel fat and bloated. 

Of course, I’m sure the skittles I had for dinner aren’t helping.  

Lest we also forget, it’s Awful Awful season at Newport Creamery – which usually means I’m doomed to gain 5 more pounds. Mmmm…extra thick coffee Awful Awful….(end dream sequence)

Ok, so maybe I have been eating like a 5 person family at The Old Country Buffett.  Yeah, I definitely have been.  But the good news is that I have decided to kick myself in the butt and change my way of eating, by using a plan called Whole30.

So what is Whole30?

Whole30 is a 30 day challenge to eat clean good-for-you-foods, all the while cutting out all grains, dairy, soy, and legumes. Oh, and, most importantly, it also excludes my one true love…sugar. My mistress, alcohol, is also gonzo. 

In other words, everything that’s fun about the act of eating – cake, wine, mashed potatoes, BREAD, butter, maple syrup, Skittles, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, and yes, even Awful Awfuls, their all done.  More done than Gary Busey’s illustrious acting career.

Why would anyone jump on board this train of craziness? It’s like the lamest thing you’ve ever heard, right?

Well that was my reaction at first when I read about this Whole30 program from Amy’s blog, A Blossoming Life. Amy and a few friends of hers decided to take on this challenge of eating clean.

But then I read on, and I saw Amy’s weekly updates, and she talked about how she began having fun in the kitchen. I read other blogs about how eating the Paleo way truly changed individuals lives. 

One of my favorites was Summer from The Dirty Floor Diaries’ transformation after eating differently. 

Her joint pain – disappeared. Awesome!
Summer’s migraines – went away! Yahoo!
and she had tons more energy. Lord knows I could use some more energy! 

All of these changes Summer went through were because she decided to eat differently. 

So, as I’ve said before, I’ve been pretty sick recently, and I also have been eating delicious crap for about a year. (That night I had nothing but Swiss Cake Rolls and Junior Mints for dinner comes to mind…) I was pretty addicted to all things bad. Bad food, bad drink, bad snacks, Breaking Bad….I didn’t know if I could make a full on lifestyle change, but I knew that I could change the way I ate for 30 days.

To some of my friends and family, this sounded downright outrageous. Why would I ever eat like this?

Here’s why:

  • It’s not a diet, and it’s not about losing weight. Sure I’d love my muffin top to drop off a bit, but my health is bigger than that.
  • I want to detox my body. I’m actually lactose intolerant, and yet I’m addicted to diary. What!?!? Yes, I know…It’s like rats being addicted to d-CON.  Sadly, it’s true and I pay for it.  Every. Time. I’m also honestly addicted to carbs and sugars even though I know they aren’t doing anything good for my body. 
  • I want to know what other types of food bring me down, or cause my body to not function the way it should. By steering clear of these items for 30 straight days, I will have reset my body. I can then slowly introduce the foods back, one at a time, and see how I react to them.
  • If something causes a bad reaction, if I become cranky, or bloat up, or have stomachaches, then I should probably steer clear from those types of foods for the most part.  (see: dairy)
  • It’s only 30 days. It’s only 30 long days.  It’s ONLY(?) 30 long days.  It’s only thirty long freakin’ days?! IT”S THIRTY GOD D*MN DAYS!?!?!?!?  Ok – breathe in, breathe out.
  •  I can do this. 

I’ll update you on how our process goes, but I want to leave you with a quote from the Whole30 website that sealed the deal for me:

‘It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. 

‘You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.’

And ya know, they’re right. Tall Dad agrees too.  Birthing a baby is hard. This is not.

But, for the time being, let’s just call this program – not easy, shall we?  So, yeah, it’s not easy.  But, this is the only physical body I will ever have in this lifetime, and it’s totally worth a not-easy 30 days!  

My only concern though?  What will those Awful Awful’s do without me?

Stay tuned 🙂 I’ll have more updates shortly!

Have any of you ever tried a program like Whole30? Have you ever thought about it?